


Trophy Magnet

by Rikkamaru



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Married Life, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 01:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14250246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rikkamaru/pseuds/Rikkamaru
Summary: Kuroba Shinichi, most well-known as Kuroba Kaito's husband, is rather happy with his lot in life.





	Trophy Magnet

Shinichi was just grabbing groceries for the week when he stumbled across the phenomenon. Or rather, he was in the middle of check out when the cashier looked up and gasped audibly. Shinichi, who’d been in the middle of taking out coins from his wallet, jumped and snapped his head to the cashier – who was staring rather fixedly at _him_ rather than a corpse Shinichi had been half-afraid had just appeared nearby. “Is something wrong?” Shinichi asked, trying to ignore the nervous dread that had started to grow in him.

“Y-you’re Kudo Shinichi, right?” The cashier asked, clearly star-struck and, before Shinichi could curse his luck and start planning where to get groceries _now_ , added, “Kuroba Kaito’s husband?”

Oh. 

Shinichi perked up at that. He could work with that; he could – and would – talk about Kaito for _hours_ if people let him. “I am,” he confirmed, and the guy looked awed.

“Wow, I didn’t even know you guys lived nearby,” the guy said, scanning the stuff Shinichi had gathered more out of habit than actual intent to do his job, and Shinichi hummed.

“I visit different stores to try and keep life interesting,” he half-lied, not wanting to go into how the stores near his house would put wards against evil on their doors as a polite request he go somewhere else that day.

“So what’s it like to live with a famous magician?” he asked, and Shinichi decided to not bring up the garden of roses Kaito protected like a dragon might its hoard (Shinichi still remembered the day Kaito very nearly stabbed Hattori with his shears when the man stepped on one of the _leaves_ ) or the flock of doves that would swarm Shinichi for cuddles whenever Kaito left for over a day, and instead brought up the shopping trips for outfits and magic props and other not-confusing activities.

They chatted for a few more minutes before Shinichi forcefully gave the guy the money for the groceries when he tried to wave off his fee and Shinichi spent part of the walk home in a contented silence that was viciously ruined as a man keeled over a few feet away.

By the time he got home the conversation had been tucked away and he started putting the food into storage and thinking about the next book in his _Chasing_ _Vapor_ series. When he felt arms wrap around his waist and lips against his neck he tensed for a second before relaxing and putting the milk he’d been staring at for two minutes into the fridge. “What has you so lost in thought?” Kaito asked, and Shinichi hummed, thoughtful and then pleased as Kaito moved his lips to better feel the vibration.

“Book,” he answered, putting chicken in the fridge as well and ignoring the relieved sigh Kaito let out at the not-fish he saw being stowed away. “Do you think the informant should get out of the trafficking ring on her own, or is there someone in their group who’s sympathetic?”

They chatted a bit about the idea until Shinichi finished putting the food away and Kaito dragged him into the living room to cuddle and talk about tricks he was working on as Shinichi listened and played with Kaito’s hair.

* * *

Shinichi woke up the next day to his phone buzzing aggressively from its spot on the bedside table and muffled his groan in Kaito’s hair. Kaito responded by mumbling nonsense and cuddling closer, pushing his nose further into Shinichi’s neck and clenching his fists into Shinichi’s sleepshirt. Shinichi managed to paw the device close enough to get a grip on it and checked the message with blurry eyes.

It was from Hattori. **What the fuck Kudo** , it said, not helpful in the least, followed by a link. Shinichi blinked, but the message remained as unhelpful as it’d started, and he tapped on the link.

He wasn’t expecting an article about Kaito – not that he minded really, Kaito talked big but always blushed whenever Shinichi praised him for a good trick or how nice his outfit looked at a show, so new ammunition for making Kaito go red and kiss him until they were both breathless was always a plus. So he read through it with a slight smile, before he got to the bottom.

 _Kudo Shinichi_ , it said, keeping his attention whether he wanted it to or not, _despite the expressed interest of a number of agencies, has never shown interest in modeling or acting like his mother, former actress Fujimine Yukiko, and while intelligent has removed himself from the public eye with regards to his job as a detective._

_Is it possible he’s retired early? Both he and his husband can live comfortably with how much Kuroba Kaito receives from a single show alone. Kuroba indirectly confirmed this in last week’s interview when asked about what Kudo contributed to their funds. “Shinichi doesn’t need to contribute anything,” Kuroba said, surprisingly impassioned. “I make enough for both of us.”_

The article continued like that for a few more lines, mostly wondering if Shinichi’s last big case in the newspapers with the FBI had made crime solving lose its appeal for him and if he was content to settle down with the World-Famous Magician.

When he finished Shinichi snickered softly and texted back to Hattori, **What an outrage. My last name is Kuroba now.**

He received back a string of button mashes and Shinichi put his phone away to drift back off, Kaito letting out a pleased sound as Shinichi’s arm wrapped more firmly around him again.

* * *

“I’m a trophy husband now,” Shinichi told Ran proudly, and she rolled her eyes and held up two shirts for his inspection.

“Congratulations, now what do you think? Simple red or something a little flashy?”

Shinichi hummed as he took in the two shirts, the ten others Ran had picked out weighing down his arms. “Is this for the date you have with Sera tomorrow?” She squeaked and tried to hide the outfits, to his confused consternation. “They look fine, what are you doing.”

“How’d you know?” She demanded, and he shrugged from beneath the pile of clothes.

“You wouldn’t hesitate to buy that red one otherwise,” he explained, and she wilted a little before showing him the shirts again. “Go with the red one,” he advised.

“Why?” she asked even as she put the other one away and laid the red one on top of the others in his arms.

“You’ll feel more confident, and you look happier whenever you wear your favorite color.” Shinichi shrugged like it was obvious and started to walk to checkout before she could drag him deeper into the store. “Detectives pick up on stuff like that.”

“I always thought people liked their lovers in _their_ favorite color,” Ran argued, as she followed him, clearly humoring his desire to leave.

“A bit of both,” Shinichi admitted. “Wearing your favorite color makes you happier, which makes them happy if they notice, and wearing _their_ favorite color implies you’re wearing it for them, which makes them happier.” Or some symbol associated with them, Shinichi admitted privately. The last time he wore a shirt with a clover on it Kaito kept walking into things but wouldn’t let Shinichi leave his line of sight. It only got funnier when Shinichi wore the Kid caricature.

“When did you learn to be such a romantic,” she teased, and Shinichi looked at her blankly as he dumped the clothes in front of a bemused cashier.

“There was a scholarly article written about it in a psychology journal. This is scientifically proven,” he informed her, clearly puzzled as she rolled her eyes. “Also, it seems a bit obvious.” Then again, _she_ didn’t have to live with parents that were as invested in their power plays as Kudo Yuusaku and Kudo Yukiko.

“Right,” she said, clearly not believing him, and leaned against the counter as the cashier scanned her stuff and looked at them – confused? Shocked? “So why are you a trophy husband now?”

“A news article talked about how I’ve retired after that FBI case and am happily married to a magician who makes more than I could ever hope to in a year.” He grinned at her and crossed his arms behind his head in a subtle stretch to relieve them of the ache of toting around Ran’s clothes. “Can you imagine, Ran? I’m _arm candy_ now.”

“You’re far too pleased about this,” she admonished, but there was a soft smile on her face as she took in his relaxed stance. She turned to the now-frowning cashier and paid for the clothes easily, gathering the bags in her arms. “I’ll let you go, you probably have elsewhere to be.”

“I did just receive a distressing text message or two,” he confirmed, checking his phone to see a **Where are you? I’m bored :(((((** from Kaito and a **Kudo-kun? We just received a call that there was smoke rising from your house, is everything alright?** from Takagi. “Have fun on your date.”

“Thanks.” The two hugged before going their own ways, and Shinichi saw the cashier look enlightened and then embarrassed before he turned and left for his own house.

* * *

**_Kuroba Kaito’s Husband Seen Out with National Karate Champion Mouri Ran!_** The article screamed at him the next morning, and Shinichi smiled into his coffee as he read through parts of it.

 _“For a while I thought they were out on, like, a date or something,” our informant –_ the cashier most likely, Shinichi thought – _told us. “But no, they were just going out to get Mouri-san new clothes for her date with her girlfriend! They were adorable, you can honestly tell they’ve joked and hung out like this for years.”_

_While Kudo – now Kuroba – Shinichi has been friends with Mouri Ran for years, this relatively not-well-known man has several other connections that are baffling in their existence. Kuroba-san has been shown to be on speaking terms with Okino Yoko and Two-Mix as well as Tokyo Spirits’ Uemura Naoki and Akagi Hideo._

_When asked for his thoughts on the matter, renowned detective and friend of Kuroba Shinichi, Hattori Heiji, said, “You can get some interesting cases at times, as a detective.”_

Shinichi laughed even as he sent the article to Hattori with a, **Look, Hattori, you’re _renowned_ now.**

 **Shut up, Kudo. It’s better than whatever the fuck is happening to you right now,** he got back.

Shinichi snickered and moved to respond only to lose his phone between one blink and the next. He looked up to see Kaito scowling slightly at the phone. Or rather, what was _on_ the phone as Kaito draped himself over Shinichi’s shoulders and stole the French toast he never eats off of his plate. “What’s happening to you right now?” Kaito asked, and Shinichi tilted his head a little to see his husband.

He looked…not dangerous, not like when they were taking down the Crows, but not pleased either, and Shinichi smiled and kissed him on the cheek, immediately getting his attention. “I’m your trophy husband now,” Shinichi told him, and Kaito blinked, momentarily stupefied.

“I mean, you look the part,” Kaito half-agreed, nuzzling him when Shinichi turned to take a sip from his coffee. “But I like to think you do a bit more than that.”

Shinichi pinched him slightly on the side in retaliation. “I meant the _media_ think I’m a trophy husband now,” he said, ignoring Kaito’s whines and demands that he kiss the spot he pinched better. “Didn’t you hear about when I retired from detective work after taking down the Crows? Apparently Division One held a going away party and half of them cried.” At least, that’s what one of the articles said, having interviewed Satou for the exclusive scoop.

“What about your books?” Kaito asked as he moved to sit in Shinichi’s lap, Shinichi giving in to the pawing with a roll of his eyes. “You won an award recently for _Caught in the Veil_.”

“Pseudonym,” Shinichi reminded him. “Edogawa Shunsaku won an award recently for _Caught in the Veil_. Kuroba Shinichi has done nothing in the public eye in years.” At this point he worked as a consultant for the police and with anyone who would sign a contract to not go to the media with whatever they wanted him to investigate. It was less glamorous, but far more relaxing arrangement.

Kaito hummed, and Shinichi smiled at his lost in thought look as he returned to eating his french toast. “I certainly don’t mind,” Shinichi admitted, and Kaito blinked back to the present.

“Don’t mind what?”

“Being a trophy husband.” Shinichi chuckled a little and leaned forward to nuzzle Kaito back. “You know what they say; better to be called a trophy husband than a corpse magnet.”

“No one has ever said that,” Kaito argued, before kissing Shinichi with powdered sugar on his lips. They parted and Shinichi licked his lips to get rid of the sugar, Kaito’s eyes following the movement.

“No one has ever _had to_.”

* * *

When Shinichi walked into a café a few weeks later, Hattori looked at him from the table they’d agreed to meet at and shot him a perturbed glare. “Took you long enough, Kudo. You left me alone with _this guy_.” He jerked his thumb over at Hakuba who made an affronted face at him before offering Shinichi a small smile.

“It’s good to see you, Kudo-kun. And yes, perhaps next time you should arrive first; I don’t care to be stuck alone with Hattori-kun longer than is strictly necessary.” Hakuba politely raised a hand and covered an ear as Hattori started shouting at him.

Shinichi was tempted to correct them on his last name but knew it would be fruitless. Hattori couldn’t use the right last name when Shinichi had been _hiding from an evil organization_ , never mind Shinichi being _married_. And he was beginning to suspect that Hakuba and Kaito had some kind of agreement about Hakuba calling him Kudo, because calling him Kuroba would make Hakuba question his life choices and calling him Shinichi would make Kaito react poorly.

“Sorry guys, Kaito wasn’t letting me leave the house without a bit of a struggle.” Which was to say Kaito pinned him against any surface that was reasonable and tried to kiss him hard enough to forget he had plans with the other two detectives. It almost worked too.

Hattori rolled his eyes and waved over a waiter, who came up with wide eyes as he stuttered through his greeting and took their orders. “Better than when he followed you to our meeting and whined the entire time about how we were only discussing cases.” He glanced out the window with a grimace. “Hopefully he won’t ‘happen to wander in here’ like he did last time.”

“Not to worry,” Hakuba said with a smug smile as he looked around the room in pride. “I chose this café for a reason.”

Shinichi hummed at that but didn’t say anything about the multitude of fish tanks that were scattered around the building. The marine life theme, while cute, would certainly do its job in ensuring Kaito wouldn’t come in under any circumstances.

“Speaking of Kuroba,” Hattori suddenly said, and Shinichi flicked his eyes over to see the Osakan grinning teasingly at him, “How are you liking being known as some magician’s husband instead of the Detective of the East?”

“It’s the best thing ever,” Shinichi told him, smiling at the waiter in thanks as he dropped off their drinks. The man went red and scrambled away as Shinichi picked out a creamer and added it to his coffee. He looked up as the silence dragged for too long and saw the other two detectives staring at him.

“You’re kidding me,” Hattori said, voice flat.

Shinichi blinked at him as he stirred the creamer in. “Nope. It’s great. Do you know how many people know me by name these days?”

“How many?” Hakuba asked.

“Less than half the people in whatever room I’m in! It’s relaxing.” At their flat looks tried his best to explain. “It’s just, I’ve lived so much of my life under a spotlight, a microscope, and yeah some of that was my choice but after…that case with the FBI…I couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t like being Kudo Shinichi, Detective of the East, the Modern Sherlock Holmes, all of those appellations that made me a target for anyone who didn’t want to be caught anymore.” He smiled a little and looked down at his coffee. “But I really _like_ being Kuroba Shinichi, husband to the World Famous Kuroba Kaito.”

When he looked back up Hattori and Hakuba were staring at him, Hattori much more resigned than the other. “I figured you’d say that,” he grumbled. 

Shinichi examined his best friend before smiling teasingly and resting his chin on his free hand. “Don’t worry, Hattori, I’ll always be the East to your West.”

The Osakan threw a packet of sugar at him and he tried to dodge it with an exaggerated affronted noise – that quickly became real as the packet fell straight into his coffee.

When he managed to fish the packet out of his coffee and threw it back at the laughing Hattori he looked over at Hakuba to see him still staring at Shinichi. “Hakuba? You alright?”

“I just –” he broke off, blinking and trying to put his thoughts to words. “You’re very easy going, Kudo-kun.”

Shinichi blinked. “Oh? You mean for being okay with being called Kuroba Kaito’s husband?”

“For a multitude of reasons, really,” Hakuba acknowledged, turning to better watch the waiter whose eyes kept flicking back to their table. “Granted, Aoko and I think you’re either a saint or actual magic for both being happily married to Kuroba-kun _and_ not killing him –”

“Oi, oi, that seems excessive,” Shinichi objected, but Hakuba continued like he hadn’t heard him.

“– but to know you also enjoy being known in relation to Kuroba-kun rather than on your own merits these days is…rather baffling to me.” The blond detective’s watching turned into a glare as the waiter tried to get his phone out and the server squeaked and hid the device again. Shinichi refrained from pointing out that the barista had her phone out already and was currently taking pictures of them, and the college students a few tables away were most likely live tweeting their presence, based on the amount of times they were looking over as well.

“I imagine this might always be a point where we won’t be able to fully understand each other,” Shinichi told him, and Hakuba glanced over and nodded in agreement before shooting one last glare at the waiter and returning to his tea. “Instead, let’s talk about Hattori completely missing that it was the butler’s daughter who poisoned the victim in our last case together, and not the sister.”

“She was sleeping with the butler!” Hattori argued, crossing his arms as Hakuba tried to muffle his laugh behind his hand. “She could have known how he washed the dishes!”

“It was a recent thing, and she was still avoiding being seen in close proximity with the butler, there was no way she would have been around him while he was washing dishes enough to figure out all of his habits. Not like the daughter that grew up with him as her only parent,” Shinichi shot back, and their day dissolved into discussing cases and mocking each other.

* * *

**_Detective Get Together! Is Kuroba Shinichi Thinking of Returning to the Field?!_** The next article he found asked, and Shinichi laughed at the nonplussed look Megure shot him. “Shinichi-kun, why didn’t you tell me you had retired?” he asked, voice dry. “I would have stopped requesting your help with cases.”

“I thought you did know, Inspector,” Shinichi answered back innocently. “After all, Division One held a going away party for me where half of them cried and the other half got drunk and cried harder. Unfortunately I couldn’t make it, but I read all about it in the interview Satou-keiji gave.”

“Right,” Megure said, utterly unimpressed. As they passed some of the officer’s desks he dropped the newspaper on Satou’s desk and the woman picked it up to beam at the article in question. “Stop feeding the wolves, Satou. We need Shinichi-kun to be able to continue doing his job.”

She looked up, confused, and might have been convincing were it not for the smirk she couldn’t quite fight down. “What do my interviews have to do with Shinichi-san being married to Kuroba-kun?”

Shinichi laughed a little at that as he crossed the room before saying, as if pondering out loud, “Hmmm, maybe I need to postpone the release of my next book. I’m sure there’s a typo somewhere…”

He went into the interrogation room and closed the door on Satou scrambling to her feet and shouting at him.

* * *

There are several unfortunate ways to wake up most days, in Shinichi’s opinion. One of which was someone screaming, “Oh my god _he’s dead_!” Another was a gunshot, still another an explosion as Agasa worked on an invention.

Because of this, he would grant that having a newspaper chucked at his head while he was dozing on the couch wasn’t the _worst_ possible way to be roused from his sleep, but it certainly wasn’t the most pleasant. Kaito wailing, “I can’t _believe_ you!” as he threw himself on top of Shinichi was also a mixture of _not awful_ and _not great_.

“What?” Shinichi asked, horribly confused, but Kaito was too busy fake-sobbing into his shoulder to answer. With a small huff he looked at the article before rolling his eyes. “Seriously, Kaito?”

 ** _Kuroba Shinichi Seen Out with Mysterious Woman! Is the Magic Gone?!_** The article asked tearfully, along with a picture of Shinichi with said Mysterious Woman. Who was definitely Kaito in a disguise, Shinichi thought with some amusement as he rubbed Kaito’s back. “There there,” he said, and snickered a little as he felt Kaito’s shoulder shake for a second in muffled laughter.

“Are they right, Shinichi?” he asked, but tellingly didn’t raise his head from Shinichi’s shoulder. “Is the magic _gone_? Were you only after me for my money all this time?”

“That was definitely it,” he confirmed grimly, and Kaito wailed again in mock-despair and tightened his grip on Shinichi’s neck. He looked away dramatically, gazing out of the stained-glass window of the mansion his parents had given him upon graduating. “My only comfort was that I knew, all along, I _knew_ that you only married me for my looks.”

“I was afraid to tell you,” Kaito confessed with a tiny sob. “The first time we met, with your stupid glasses and your jacket, the most audacious seven year old I’d ever met, I knew I couldn’t bear to _not_ have you be a part of my life.”

At that Shinichi finally broke and started to laugh, the sound echoing in the house until Kaito joined him. When the two finally calmed down Kaito looked at him with a fond smile that he returned easily. Shinichi lifted a hand to tangle in Kaito’s and kissed him. “Forgive me?” he asked playfully, and Kaito hummed back, eyes sparkling.

“I can think of a few ways you can make it up to me.”


End file.
